mourning

My best friend of 16 years passed away last night.

He filled my childhood with love and companionship

as I braved the new world of second grade onto senior year of high school,

he greeted me and comforted me when I can home.

I remember the first day I got him, my family took me to the Humane Society, 

I was 8 at the time and overwhelmed with the decision I had to make, there were so many cats.

A lot of them were pretty scary, mother cats hissing at other mother cats, 

kittens that had already had the red tag on their cage explaining that they were claimed

I couldn't really go wandering in the room because I was so frightened.

Then I looked down to the left and in the bottom cage there was a small cat maybe 8 months old.

I decided thats the one I wanted to hold, I picked him up and I knew, 

this weird instinct that we were meant for each other.

A tabby cat, a street cat, an abused cat.

I went to put him back and he immediately jumped on the cage wall

as if to say "please dont leave me"

and ever since then we have been inseparable,

I named him Tabasco.

I didn't even like the taste of Tabasco sauce when I was little. 

I think this was me trying to get my fathers amusement more then anything.

Years passed and Tabasco was scared of everything, brooms, strangers, especially men

but when we were alone he was safe. He could sleep.

I worried about him in the cold nights when he didn't come back

fearing a coyote had gotten him

(he was so skinny his whole life, he always looked 8 months old)

I would call him

and he would come, sometimes running, 

sometimes he would play games for his own amusement 

and not come for 5 minutes or take his sweet little time

He knew when I was leaving for college 

each time I packed my bags he would cling onto my shoulders for dear life.

It's silly really but he was a strong reason that pulled me home each break from school.

He knew when I was sad and would curl up as close as he could

or when I was mad he would wait patiently at the end of the bed 

(or he would be too annoying, trying to lighten the mood, and I would kick him out of my room)

When all the world was crashing down in my youth he was what I could rely on,

a loyal companion.

Tabasco

1995-2011