Camera Obscura - "French Navy" official video

maybe it's a little too soon

I had never seen Jerry Maguire.

Judging by the clips, the plot behind sports, 

and the famous "you had me at hello"...

I didn't look at it twice. (my mistake)

because after seeing this movie for the first time

I'm not surprised why people like it

and I'm not surprised why I really liked it.

It was a great movie that almost made me like sports

and almost made me like Tom Cruise.

Those are two big things.

I liked the story behind it all, the human heart and how we relate to others.

Plus the love stuff wasn't so bad (because it wasn't a fairy tale).

*this video compilation is pretty cheesy

Frida Kahlo

I drank three cups of coco today (throughout the day), scanned the art embedded in the wall with my fingertips, made quinoa with a variety of yummy vegetables, and topped it off with a NEW library card. 

Seriously an awesome day.

*A venture to the library on a cold rainy day. simply the best. 

Next time I'm taking my thermos and settling down with a good read.

Last night I finally watched the movie 'Frida'.

I have always been an admirer of Frida Kahlo. If you still have myspace...you may happen upon my page I started Freshman year of college, I may still have a picture of her as my interest... that is, if myspace still exsists. 

She was a magnificent strong woman whom really lived life, I've always wanted to be like her.

These works are my particular favorites. There is so much depth to her and her paintings. To me she creates worlds within worlds; the colors, the way the painting speaks to you, giving you so much insight with so little. ugghhh. so incredible. 

 The Two Fridas, 1939

"I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best"

 Self Portrait in a Velvet Dress, 1926

The inscription reads: "In the city of New York on the twenty-first day of the month of October, 1938, at six o'clock in the morning, Mrs. Dorothy Hale committed suicide by throwing herself out of a very high window of the Hampshire House building. In her memory this retablo, executed by Frida Kahlo." *The words "Commissioned by Mrs. Clare Booth Luce" were painted out of the legend by Noguchi at Luce's request after Kahlo delivered the commission*

 The Suicide of Dorothy Hale, 1939

La Adelita, Pancho Villa and Frida, 1927

Portrait of Miguel N. Lira, 1927

What the Water Gave Me, 1938

 The Wounded Deer, 1946

I love the Mexican style in her art, it brings me a little closer to home. 

I think Frida as a person was quite remarkable. When she was about 18 years old she was in an accident where a trolley collided with her bus. She fractured her spine, collarbone, ribs, shattered her pelvis, shoulder, and had eleven fractures in her right leg. She spent over a year recovering in bed and during this time she painted. and painted. and painted. There is so much to her life but I feel like I can relate on a small level to her accident (from my herniated disc) and dealing with pain without anyone being able to understand. During her life she had over 30 operations, none of them completely fixing anything, she was in constant pain her whole life. Maybe that's why these paintings speak so much to me. 

Her life included her intense love for Diego Rivera. Their battles, affairs, divorce and marriages (they married twice). I really love how they had two separate homes with a bridge connecting the two. A dream to me. 

She is one lady I hope to talk with in the afterlife.

skinny boys and raincoats.

We took the Trax

'Yesterday it seemed everywhere I went the Beatles were playing, Very therapeutic to deal with your problems head on and mine... mine are full of avoiding. Avoiding everything including people and things that remind me of other things. I'm being vague but trust that avoiding telling about it is helping (haha). Listening to the Beatles by force was really good because it showed me that it's one more thing I can put back into my life.

the past 4 months.

This song is amazing,

it describes how I have felt.

"to a tee"

You can fake it for a while,
bite your tongue and smile,
like every mother does an ugly child.
But it starts to leaking out,
like spittle from a cloud,
amassed resentment
pelting ounce and pound.

You entertaining any doubts,
'cause you had to know that I was fond of you.
Fond Of Y-O-U
Though I knew you masked your disdain
I can see the change was just too hard for us,
you always had to hold the reigns,
but where I'm headed you just don't know the way.

So affections fade away,
or do adults just learn to play
the most ridiculous repulsive games?
all our favorite ruddy sons
and their double-barreled guns,
you'd better hurry rabbit,
run, run, run.
'Cause mincing you is fun,
and there's a lot of hungry hatters
in this world set on taking it over.
But brittle thorny stems,
they break before they bend,
and neither one of us is one of them.

And the tears will never mend,
'cause you had it in for me so long ago.
Boy, I Still Don't Know,
I don't know why and I don't care...
well hardly anymore.
If you'd only seen yourself hating me,
when I'd been so much more than fair.
But then you'd have to lay those feelings bare.
One thing I know has still got you scared.
Yeah all that cold ire,
and never once aired on a dare


You had to know that I was fond of you,
Fond Of Y-O-U.
So I took your licks at the time.
A change like that is just so hard to do,
don't let it whip-crack your life.
And I'll bow out from the fight -
Those old pious sisters were right -
the worst part is over,
now get back on that horse and ride.

The Pains of Being Pure At Heart "Heart In Your Heartbreak"

Take a look around when you're going down                                            Cuz you'll never feel so high                                                                    As when you hid in her arms in the sky and the world slept                       And there's no use to say just how much it kills                                      When it still kills all the same                                                                  Every thought of her name like a hand to an open flame                                                                                                                                         Chorus                                                                                                   She was the heart in your heartbreak                                                      She was the miss in your mistake                                                           And no matter what you take, you're never going to forget                       She was the tear in a rainstorm                                                              She was the promise that you would've sworn                                          And no matter what you say, it's never gonna come back                                                                                                                                        An ambulance goes by, and you wonder why                                            It never stops when you want it to                                                           It never stops when you need it to take you away                                    And your friends don't understand that the world could end,                     And it would feel no worse than this                                                         Every thought of the look in her eye                                                         Like a cold California sky                                                                                                                                                                                           Chorus                                                                                                  She was the heart in your heartbreak                                                       She was the miss in your mistake                                                           And no matter what you take, you're never going to forget                      She was the tear in a rainstorm                                                              She was the promise that you would've sworn                                         And no matter what you say, it's never gonna come back                                                                                                                                       And no matter what you pray,                                                                 It's never gonna take the pain away                                                        And even if she'd stay you know it's wrong                                              And no matter what you pray, it's never gonna take the pain away          Cuz even if she'd stay, you know she's gone 

"Action is character. If we never did anything we wouldn't be anybody"

Today I watched 'An Education' ...surprisingly.

I was determined to watch a violent film.... something with a lot of revenge and death (i.e. kill bill, inglorious basterds... thank heavens for Quentin Tarantino)   
alas another day.

This movie, An Education, ironically soothed my soul in a strange way.

I'm happy where I am in life.

It also made me realize again that I love class, not the shove it in your face "hey I have money!"

but the ability to take what you have and make it beautiful ...even glamorous.

Nice things aren't always expensive and original is usually better then ordinary.

The only thing I had a hard time with was that she choose David, the older gentleman at the start, instead of Graham a musician, writer, and traveler. Something much more risky but romantic.

*Matthew Beard (Graham in the film) I find him absolutely adorable, he kind of looks like my friend Zach Litke.

o Patti Smith

About two years ago my pal Laura Johnson and I made our way downtown to The Loft to watch a documentary on Patti Smith called 'Patti Smith: Dream of Life'. It was so good that I remember afterwards thinking I had truly watched an artist at work on the big screen. It was very raw and natural.

I haven't really reflected on this experience much until I was in Barnes and Noble the other day and picked up her book called 'Just Kids'. Every page I turned blew me away with how delicate and intricate her wording was, like each one was chosen very carefully but not designed or designated (maybe even innate). and how relatable she seems! I didnt buy it because I just recently bought a book (and have made a promise to finish it before buying another) but I did make it to page 37. I plan on going back tomorrow after work to continue my experience through her experiences.